Potty Training 101

    Ahhh.. Potty training.  It's like Russian Roulette for us moms.  You never know until you start if you are gonna breeze straight through it or fight the demon kicking and screaming up until the very bitter end.  One child might take to a pull-up with a little encouragement, while their sibling might have to take the your-gonna-sit-in-those-wet-pants-awhile approach.  My first experience?  We've been right down the middle.  So far, so good.  Nothing drastic and she seemed to catch on to the concept when she was ready.  We are currently about 3 weeks in and she was doing so well, I decided to test my sweet child to her utmost pee-holding ability today.
    Before walking out the door, headed on a shopping excursion with my sister-in-law, I dutifully made my darling go potty in hopes that we could prevent more than one unnecessary pit stop over our hour long commute.  Not thinking, I hand her her favorite pink straw cup, filled to the brim with diluted apple juice and away we go.  As we are gassing up, going to the bank, and running various other errands before we hit the interstate I swing through McDonald's drive thru and grab her some chocolate milk (don't judge me, we were having a special day) and some apple slices.  It's then that I realize (because she's politely informed me more than once) that she has already plowed right through that cup of apple juice and is MORE than ready for her chocolate milk.  I know, I know... That's where the light in my brain should have started flashing and that blaring Mom siren should have started going off.  It didn't.  I'm as new to this potty training thing as she is.  It just slipped my mind.  So, what do I do?  If you guessed, gave her a second 8 ounces of fluids in less than 45 minutes, you would be correct.  So here we are trucking right along I-24, me happily scarfing down my bacon, egg and cheese biscuit and her eating apples and singing along to "All Dogs Go To Heaven" and I hear those infamous words. 
    "Mom, I gotta go pee."  Seriously?? 
    "Can you hold it?"
    "No, Momma I have to go NOW!"
    Somewhere in heaven, my Nanny was looking down and smiling in approval at what I was about to do.  For lack of a better place, I whipped my SUV as far as I could, off the shoulder of the road and gave my 2 year old a crash course on the particulars of being "bush broke".  (Again, don't judge me, I was out of options!)  She looked at me in disbelief as I opened my door and walked around the back of the car and started the unbuckling process. 
    "Hurry up Addie, this is dangerous."
    "Is this the bathroom?"
    "No baby, I can't get to a bathroom quick enough, so you are going to have to pee outside."
    "On the ground??" she questions, as I unbutton blue jeans and try to position her new Ariel panties so they don't get an unexpected shower.
    "Yes." With that, I pull her out and shield her with my body and brace myself for the unavoidable chain of events that are about to transpire.  She stands there, pants around her ankles, naked butt in the crisp open air, patiently staring at me.  Waiting for my instructions. 
    "What I 'posed to do, Momma?"
    "I told you, Addie.  Stand right there, spread your legs, and go pee-pee."
    "I can't." She then attempts to get into a sitting position.  I stop her.  She is clearly worried that this isn't going to work.  Struggling for the right solution and becoming more than aware of the semi's going by at warp speed, I do what any mom would have done.  I stripped her down to socks. 
   "Pee.  Now." Finally.  I wasn't sure we were gonna master this on this particular adventure and let me tell you, pee she did. 
    I know some new moms are freaking out.  I don't dispute that it was slightly dangerous, however, that's one of the perks of being a Mom.  I get to make that decision.  I had to weigh my options, and I felt like this was by far the lesser of two evils.  Besides after we were safely back on the road and strapped in, she was quite pleased with herself, so much so that she proudly told her Aunt, Daddy, Mimi and anyone else that would listen, what she did.  I just thank God it's Kentucky and that's normal!

Social Networking: I'm my own worst enemy

    I have a love/hate relationship with social networking.  Websites like Facebook and Pinterest make me believe that I'm the Betty Crocker/Martha Stewart of the virtual world.  I thoroughly enjoy browsing through my friends status updates about babies, marital problems, prayer requests, and various other day to day tidbits while never leaving the comfort of my bed.  I can inquire about Aunt Mable's hip replacement and pin a tutorial on hair bows while I'm brushing my teeth and find a plethora of DIY projects to nag my husband about starting.  The problem with that is, its made me lazy.  I can be considerate without inconveniencing myself.  During a discussion with my husband the other day I realized just how much I've secluded myself in the last year.  Social networking has fooled me into thinking that's normal. I'm virtually social.  Can you blame me, though?  I mean, have you seen some of those recipes on Pinterest??  I can barely boil water and I have concoctions on my boards that would rally Rachel Ray.  I proudly own a sewing machine, embroidery machine, candle making supplies and a collection of scrapbooking supplies that would even make ole' Martha jealous.  Somewhere in the back of my mind, I've convinced myself I'm going to get around to making my own Christmas presents, embroidering my own baby gifts, and pulling my children's enormous cache of photos off of a cd and onto a perfectly composed personalized album.  Every year my craft room groans underneath the weight of half finished projects and great ideas that I've started and never finished.  I've even gone as far as give it its own ROOM.  (See?  I told you I have honorable intentions.  I'm just a charter member of Procrastinator's Anonymous.)
    With all of that said, I've made a vow.  I'm going to start being a better friend.  I've let thoughtfulness go by the wayside for long enough and its high time I change it.  I'm going to start being more hands-on.  Will I be baking lots of homemade goodies and dutifully delivering them like my friend Stephanie does?  Highly unlikely.  Perhaps I will remember more birthdays and start mailing out random cards of encouragement like my sweet long-distance pal Stacy?  Doubtful.  Maybe, just maybe I will start getting involved with lots of community activities and social functions like my buddy Chelsea.  Seriously??  Have you seen my schedule??  I will find a way though, my way...  Whatever that might be...